Eternal Tapestry

In the last few blog posts I've focused on our Destiny and the conflict of not knowing our Destiny.  We may have an overall destination and plan for our lives or we may not.  We most likely have a general idea but are still working out the specific details.  I call these specific details our Inherent Desires.  They are the threads of a tapestry that form the complete picture of our Destiny. I mentioned that we also have Desires that conflict with our Destiny.  They sidetrack us.  But discerning which Desires are distractions and which ones are apart of our Destiny is hard.  It takes time and experience to figure it all out.

If you're presently all tied up in knots about a decision you have to make, this blog post might be helpful to read.  In the post I focus on why we have Conflicting Desires and how we affect our ability to sense our Destiny and weave our Eternal Tapestry when we don't use our agency to make a choice between them.

Pseudo Desires
In the Desire Obtainment Process, the goal is to identify our Inherent Desires and ignore or let go of every Desire that conflicts with them.  Desires that get in the way of obtaining these are Conflicting Desires.  The types of Desires that usually get in the way are the kind that tempt us in the beginning but enslave us in the end.  They are adulterated versions of our Inherent Desire.  They mock it similar to how bait on the end of a fishing hook mocks the real food a fish would eat. When we obtain these mock or Pseudo Desires, we also obtain a hook in our mouth.  In the beginning this Desire may have seemed like a windfall but over time things get worse and worse.  Pseudo Desires result in addictions to substances.  They result in bondage-like relationships with Conflicting Causes. These addictions and conflicting relationships decrease our life-expectancy and interfere with the healthy relationships we need to build to obtain Sustainable Joy.  They rewrite the code of our Destiny so that we are blinded to our real one.  Desires, when they are inherent, end in balanced relationships that are sustainable where all members give and receive continuously to everyone’s satisfaction.

A Pseudo Desire is like the Maka-Fekes described in the following video.



"The adversary offers counterfeit solutions that may appear to provide answers but take us even further from the peace we seek. He offers a mirage that has the appearance of legitimacy and safety but ultimately, like the great and spacious building, will collapse, destroying all who seek peace within its walls." ~A Pattern For Peace by Bishop W. Christopher Waddell

"Here on earth, however, our thoughts and actions become encumbered with that which is corrupt, unholy, and impure. The dust and filth of the world stain our souls, making it difficult to recognize and remember our birthright and purpose." ~He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf 

“And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he was faint: And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red pottage; for I am faint…And Jacob said, Sell me this day thy birthright. And Esau said, Behold, I am at the point to die: and what profit shall this birthright do to me? And Jacob said, Swear to me this day; and he sware unto him: and he sold his birthright unto Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised his birthright.” ~Genesis 25:29-34

“Which of us would sell his birthright for a mess of pottage? Isn’t it advisable that we direct to our own selves the question raised by the Savior: ‘… what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?’” ~What Will a Man Give by Mark E. Petersen

Satisfaction Level
We have the responsibility to choose between Desires to determine which are inherent to us and which Maka-Fekes.  It’s not black and white.  There are good, better, and best Desires.  That means that many Desires may fall somewhere between completely satisfying and not satisfying at all.  It's up to us to tell our Heavenly Father through prayer, thought, and action which of all the Desires out there satisfy us.  And I don't mean satisfactory--mediocre, average.  I mean satisfying, complete, fulfilling. 

True conversion to a moral way of life happens when we identify our Inherent Desire and a Cause that enables us to achieve it through the balance of his grace and our works. 

Listen:  Something That I Want by Grace Potter from the motion picture Tangled

I remember a time in my life when I was trying to identify an important part of my Destiny, an Inherent Desire that meant everything to me. I had been back and forth in trying to decide what was possible and right and what was not.  Looking back on the few months prior to that, which were recorded in my journal, I saw that my Cause--the Lord--was trying to convince me that what I really wanted was possible and even part of my Eternal Tapestry but I couldn't believe it.  Finally, a day came that was a major turning point in my life. I realized I had explored all other possibilities as far as I could and saw that none were ever going to work out. It was like the sun had been gradually coming up behind the mountain for a long time. Hints of its existence had been beaming through its morning rays. Then suddenly, I saw the first golden arc of the sun itself rising above the peaks and was convinced.

The only possibility left to me was this one seemingly impossible road. So I took it. I leaped in faith and said I believe this is possible. Again, I had been back and forth and back and forth but something finally changed in me that basically enabled me to cross the threshold between faith and knowledge. The Effects I experienced upon making that choice were deep and powerful. They were similar to how I felt when I had other spiritual experiences that testified of known truths. And that's when I knew this pathway was the right pathway. It was the only way I knew. When I thought of this Inherent Desire and listened to the above song (Something That I Want), I was on fire with light. I was motivated like never before to do good and love others even in the face of the adversity that would be mine as a result of choosing this pathway.

Adversity Level
Desires can also be conflicting to different degrees. They may be just a little bit conflicting or a lot conflicting. To continue the fishing bait and hook analogy, we may end up with a cut lip when we get tangled up with a Desire, which causes us to experience a degree of short-term adversity. Or we may end up in the frying pan, which causes us to experience an extreme degree of long-term adversity. But the catch is that all of our Desires require us to experience some conflict throughout the Desire Obtainment Process in order to obtain them. That's sacrifice. Anything worth anything is going to cost us something. But we need to ask ourselves, "Is this Desire worth this sacrifice?  In the end, will this Desire leave me destitute or will it be Sustainable?" When it comes to our Eternal Tapestry we're looking to develop sustainable relationships. We don't want short-term fixes that will never last. We're trying to work out our salvation here--our retirement, our eternal life. The only way we can do that is if we keep our Effect Sensors sharp to the Effects of our God.

Not all Conflicting Desires are Maka-Fekes. We can have a conflict between two Desires that are both good. In fact, sometimes both are so close to our Inherent Desire according to our Effect Sensor readings that we are in a serious conundrum. Sometimes the Resolution Process is just about making a choice between them after studying both options the best we can and then leaping in faith. It is possible that both could return Sustainable Joy to the satisfaction level of everyone involved. The problem is that if we don’t make a choice between them, neither of them will return it in the end.

There are two reasons that Conflicting Desires exist:

• The Fall
• Scattered Effect Sensors

The First Reason:  The Fall
The first reason that Conflicting Desires exist is the Fall.  With it came opposition. Opposition gives us different Desires to choose from. Having different Desires to choose from enables us to state loud and clear who we are. We're able to test different ones out and assess what we think of them. There are good and bad ones. There are better and best ones. And remember, it's not all about what we receive, it's also about what and how we give.  Giving Desires a test drive is about seeing how we feel about the balance of those two Processes--giving and receiving for that Specific Desire. How do we like having both those responsibilities and those privileges?

In our choices, sometimes we make mistakes and experience lots of grief. But because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, those mistakes don't have to be permanent. The Atonement enables us to learn from our mistakes instead of being condemned by them. In fact, we are supposed to test different things out, while not taking advantage of this blessing, so that we can determine the Joy from the Sorrow, the good from the evil, and the Inherent Desire from the Pseudo Desire. We communicate to God what exactly we need in combination with what we’re willing to do to be happy. So thankfully, we do have the Fall AND the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Because of this remarkable situation that we are in and the remarkable gift of our Savior, we have this space and time to make up our minds.

"To be tested, we must have the agency to choose between alternatives. To provide alternatives on which to exercise our agency, we must have opposition." ~Elder Dallin H. Oaks

"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my firstborn in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility." ~2 Nephi 2:11

"Although it is imperative that we choose wisely, there are times when we will make foolish choices. The gift of repentance, provided by our Savior, enables us to correct our course settings, that we might return to the path which will lead us to that celestial glory we seek."~Choices by President Thomas S. Monson

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain." ~Exodus 20:7

The Second Reason:  Scattered Effect Sensors
We scatter our Effect Sensors by developing relationships with two or more Conflicting Causes and engaging in two or more Conflicting Desire Obtainment Processes for extended periods of time. We try to obtain two or more opposing things at once. We try to please two or more opposing groups of people. The state of our Effect Sensors is not altered if we do this while we're trying to figure out which Desire we should choose in the beginning. That is using the Atonement wisely. The state is altered over time. It is when we continuously divide ourselves between two opposing relationships we are actively developing. That is using the Atonement in vain. It is dishonesty. 

We gain knowledge of laws through the Effects we experience when we engage in these Conflicting Processes. When we ignore these guiding Effects and continue in our Conflicting Desire Obtainment Processes, the dishonesty leads to becoming discrepant, false, and hypocritical.  Some other words in the dictionary that come up as synonyms are pretender, plaster saint, phony, fraud, and fake. The point is, we have to hide one relationship that we're developing in one Desire Obtainment Process from another. We have to carry on some kind of deception to do this. But what we're really doing is deceiving ourselves. Who are we? The one person or the other? When we do this for a long period of time, we lose our identity, our distinctiveness, uniqueness, and singularity. We lose our Destiny and birthright. We develop bad habits and dysfunctional character traits that we can't help. We bring ourselves into spiritual captivity.

"And he became Satan, yea, even the devil, the father of all lies, to deceive and to blind men, and to lead them captive at his will, even as many as would not hearken unto my voice." ~Moses 4:4 

"Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men." ~Matthew 5:13

"So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth." ~Revelations 3:16

We use the Atonement appropriately when we're not purposefully seeking to deceive anyone with the Conflicting Desires we're trying to obtain. We are just confused as to which, of all the Causes that are influencing us, we should listen to. Which of all the roads available to us should we go down? If we listen to and expect validation from Conflicting Causes on a continuous basis, we end up sacrificing in Willy-Nilly ways that distract us from giving all we've got to one or the other. We're dividing our loyalties. Spreading ourselves too thin. And there's no way to determine which is best when we experiment upon them both at the same time. The one becomes a confounding variable to the other. We've got to study it out in our minds, come up with the best hypothesis, make a choice between them, and then try it out, actively believing it is our best option. We stop trying to obtain the other.

When we engage in Desire Obtainment Processes over long periods of time, we obtain Results.  Our Eternal Tapestry becomes deeply woven. Thread upon thread upon thread. Relationships are built. Habits are formed. Strengths, talents, and abilities are developed.  Effect Sensors are changed for better or for worse. In essence, Effect Sensors are who we are. They are what enable us to be alive, feel alive, feel Joy, and acquire Knowledge. Their condition depends upon the use of our agency to identify and ignore Pseudo Effects and things that are irrelevant to our Desire Obtainment Journey and to identify and pay attention to Real Effects and the things that are relevant to it. 

If we engage in Conflicting Desire Obtainment Processes over long periods of time we obtain Conflicting Results. We develop Conflicting relationships. We form bad habits.

Because we're continuously putting our trust in Conflicting Causes, our Effect Sensors become scattered. We become inherently confused, fearful, or skittish. This causes us to be even more indecisive with our Inherent Desire.

"Wherefore, the word of the Lord was fulfilled which he spake unto me, saying that: Inasmuch as they will not hearken unto thy words they shall be cut off from the presence of the Lord. And behold, they were cut off from his presence." ~2 Nephi 5:20

Scattered Effect Sensors is a condition within us where we are never satisfied because we can’t obtain either Desire. Our Processes remain in that difficult developmental stage without ever transitioning into the sustainable stage--abilities, talents, skills, good habits. We can't please all the Conflicting Causes that are involved. We can't remain allegiant to any one of them. We’re not satisfied with the validation of one because another rejects us (see the story about Haman). We look on everyone as our Cause and rely on the number of people who validate us to determine our value. If the number is high enough we feel good. When it goes down we feel worthless. 

Actively pursuing Conflicting Desires over an extended period of time is misusing our agency. This misuse scatters our Effect Sensors. With scattered Effect Sensors, we lose our ability to identify our Inherent Desires and the Processes we need to engage in to obtain them. 

Space and time have been given to us so that we can make our choices. This is Mercy. It is given abundantly. But Justice watches over how we use this blessing. Justice incrementally takes over to sustainably bless us or damn us, according to our own choices. God is a Mastermind. His plan is infallible. If we want to actually complete our Eternal Tapestry and experience the eternal Joy from doing so we must choose wisely.

"For behold, justice exerciseth all his demands, and also mercy claimeth all which is her own; and thus, none but the truly penitent are saved. What, do ye suppose that mercy can rob justice? I say unto you, Nay; not one whit. If so, God would cease to be God." ~Alma 42:24-25

"That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." ~Matthew 5:45

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Some Desires come and go.  We try them out but they do not hold our interest for long.  It pitters out over time.

Listen: “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For”  ~U2 (Pretty sad song)

This could mean that we haven't found our Inherent Desire yet.  Through the course of our life thus far, we have not yet encountered what it is that we're looking for.

If we have identified it and have experienced at least a portion of the privileges we will eventually receive, it does not pitter out if we remain allegiant to our General Cause--God and continue in our progression towards it at a rate that satisfies us.  When we think about losing it or never obtaining it we feel the greatest sorrow we have ever felt.

Listen:  “Nothing Compares 2U”

But if nothing holds our interest for long over an extended period of time, we have a conflict: No Desire.  We talked about having No Desire in my blog post: IDK Inertia but let’s review it here.  First of all, having No Desire is a black and white statement.  To some degree, we might be interested in obtaining goals.  That degree may be large or small.  But similar to the all-or-nothing threshold that an action potential needs to cross over in the body's nervous system to stimulate muscle contraction if it is not enough to motivate us to make the required sacrifice, it is just as valuable as having No Desire.

"May we ever choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong." ~Choices by President Thomas S. Monson 

There are two reasons for having No Desire or very little of it:
• Lack of knowledge and experience
• Numbed Effect Sensors

The 1st Cause:  Lack of Knowledge & Experience
So the first cause of having No Desire is innocence.  It’s childhood.  In childhood, we may not have declared our total allegiance to a Cause yet.  

Listen:  "The Reason" by Hoobastank

We may not yet have the knowledge or skills to obtain what we want.  And we may not yet get the connection between  Process and Effect.  

"For every action [Process}, there is an equal and opposite reaction [Effect]." ~Newton's Third Law

"For that which ye do send out [Process] shall return unto you again, and be restored [Effect];" ~Alma 41:15  

"Most of you are familiar with Alice in Lewis Carroll’s classic novel Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. You will remember that she comes to a crossroads with two paths before her, each stretching onward but in opposite directions. As she contemplates which way to turn, she is confronted by the Cheshire Cat, of whom Alice asks, 'Which path shall I follow?'
"The cat answers, 'That depends where you want to go. If you do not know where you want to go, it doesn’t matter which path you take.'" ~Choices by President Thomas S. Monson 

A Note About Judging Others In the Wrong Way
If we judge others because they haven’t figured out what they want or the direction they need to go, we may be judging an innocent person that God does not judge like that yet.  And note that we can judge ourselves like this too.  Our duty is to give them and ourselves space and time to figure it all out.

"For behold that all little children are alive in Christ, and also all they that are without the law. For the power of redemption cometh on all them that have no law;" ~Moroni 8:22

The objective reality of remaining in that innocent state for too long when we might otherwise be progressing is described well by President Hartman Rector, Jr., a General Authority of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from the late '60s to the '90s:

"Ignorance is expensive; in fact, it is the most expensive commodity we know anything about. Certainly we make many mistakes through ignorance. If it is a violation of a commandment of God which we have never received and thus do not know, then the Lord does not hold us guilty of the sin. '… to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.' (James 4:17.) And in Paul’s words, '… where no law is, there is no transgression.' (Rom. 4:15.) But even though we may not be guilty of the sin because of our ignorance, neither can we receive the blessing, which is predicated on obedience, without rendering obedience to that law." ~"Ignorance Is Expensive" by President Hartman Rector, Jr.

Note: the blessings we desire are a critical part of our Inherent Desire.  The law we need to identify, learn, and be obedient to is the Inherent Process we must engage in to obtain those blessings.

If we want to shake our finger at other people because we think they should know better, we should probably back off.  It is not our responsibility to judge with the goal of guilting them into doing what's right, even if we might know what that is.  Yet it is our responsibility to personally work with God to work out our own salvation--to identify our Inherent Desire and progress towards its obtainment at an efficient and satisfying rate.  

Here's an example:  I went to BYU during the late '80s and '90s.  I declared a major.  It was up to me to make sure the classes I was taking progressed me towards the completion of that major and graduation.  Back then there were no counselors assigned to us to keep us on track and make sure we weren't becoming life-long students, taking all kinds of classes, ever learning something or another but never progressing towards a meaningful end.  I then attended BYU Idaho in the 2014-15 Fall and Winter semesters to obtain a second Bachelor's Degree.  I declared a major.  They immediately assigned me to a counselor and required me to set up a tentative but well-thought-out schedule of the classes I needed to take for the next few years until I fulfilled the requirements for that major.  I thought that was an excellent idea to keep us all on track and focused on our overall goal.  So in life, our overall goal is to graduate from it by obtaining salvation.  The specific way we do that is through our Inherent Desire, Cause, Process, Effects, and Results.  We may not be able to see the full picture yet.  I think that's okay.  But I believe we need to be actively striving to see as far ahead as we can and making plans for how we're going to accomplish each sub-goal (like a class at BYU Idaho) on our journey.  

If we judge others according to our own personal Inherent Desire, we’d be wrong again.  While we do have many Desires in common, there are many that we do not.  The specific person I want to marry or the things I want to do to make the world a better place bring me Joy but may not necessarily bring you Joy.

We may even do the opposite and evaluate our Inherent Desire by the Inherent Desires of others.  We may feel guilty or even crazy if our Desire Obtainment Process is not like theirs. We may wonder what is wrong with us. Why are we so different?

But it’s not a competition.  And that's not an accurate form of assessment. While there are some useful comparisons to make, this is not one of them if it’s going to make us feel guilty because our Inherent Desire is different from someone else’s.  Each of us needs to identify our Inherent Desire and then find the Inherent Process to obtain it.  Each of us should be mostly concerned with obtaining the level of Sustainable Joy with which we are satisfied.  Joy is not sustainable when we are deriving it from evaluating that we have more or less than someone else.

"The cost of the Atonement was borne by the Lord without compulsion, for agency is a sovereign principle. According to the plan, agency must be honored.  It was so from the beginning, from Eden." ~"Who Is Jesus Christ" by Elder Boyd K. Packer, March 2008 Ensign

The 2nd Cause:  Numbed Effect Sensors
I’ve talked about Effect Sensors before.  To review, our Effect Sensors are our eyes, ears, and any other sensory receptor that receives Effects.  It’s easy to physically see or hear our parents, teachers, coaches, trainers, mentors, or supervisors tell us point-blank that we’re doing good or that we need to change up our Process. But how many of us trust any Cause but God in helping us identify our Inherent Desire--our Destiny?  In order to sense God’s feedback, we need to keep our Effect Sensors sensitive.  We need to be able to spiritually sense his feedback to identify our Inherent Desire.

Pseudo Desires deliver Pseudo Effects that overstimulate our Effect Sensors.  When we continuously saturate them they become numbed--numbed to pain and Sorrow but also numbed to pleasure and Joy.  For example, if we listen to extremely loud music over time our ears become less sensitive to sound. We become deaf.  So if we’re consuming Pseudo Effects all the time, we’re going to develop some pretty bad habits that numb us to our Inherent Desire.  We won’t be able to sense it.  

Listen:  "Big Yellow Taxi" by Amy Grant

"The Church and the world and women are crying for men, men who are developing their capacity and talents, who are willing to work and make sacrifices, who will help others achieve happiness and salvation. They are crying, 'Rise up, O men of God!' God help us to do it. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen." ~"Brethren We Have Work to Do" by Elder D. Todd Christofferson

We can numb ourselves to God's communication by constantly filling our lives with distractions like social events, TV, video and other games, social media, and even work, etc. A distraction can be anything that ties up our minds and leaves us with little desire, time, and ability to communicate with God. It's not necessarily evil or bad. In fact, it may be a pretty good thing to do. But the bottom line is in order to stay in tune with our Father in Heaven we need to make regular quiet spaces in our lives inside which we're alone with him.

Listen:  "Me and God" by Josh Turner

We can also numb our Effect Sensors by purposefully plugging our ears. We can shut our eyes. We can ignore things. We can refuse to search for anything further than what we have already obtained. 

“Thou fool, that shall say: A Bible, we have got a Bible, and we need no more Bible. Have ye obtained a Bible save it were by the Jews? Know ye not that there are more nations than one? Know ye not that I, the Lord your God, have created all men, and that I remember those who are upon the isles of the sea; and that I rule in the heavens above and in the earth beneath; and I bring forth my word unto the children of men, yea, even upon all the nations of the earth?” ~2 Nephi 29:6-7

We can read what’s on the pages of our scriptures or the history books and see it as only applying in that specific situation in history but close our minds to seeing it as a general principle that can apply to us in our specific Desire Obtainment Process.  Likewise, we can understand a principle from one perspective but close our eyes to looking at it from other perspectives.

It isn’t all bad to close our minds. When we have done enough reviewing, applying, and testing out and then have identified truth, it’s probably a pretty good idea to hold steadfast against Conflicting Desires, Causes, Processes, and Effects. That means we can use our agency to purposefully and selectively create boundaries in our Effect Sensors against things we know are distractions and not valuable to us in our Desire Obtainment Journey.

"Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen." ~Mosiah 5:15

Conclusion
If we have No Inherent Desire it may be because we need to give ourselves more time and space to evaluate, study, experiment, listen, pray, and evaluate some more.  Or it may be because we've used our agency to block it out.

"And he shall rise the third day from the dead; and behold, he standeth to judge the world; and behold, all these things are done that a righteous judgment might come upon the children of men. For behold, and also his blood atoneth for the sins of those who have fallen by the transgression of Adam, who have died not knowing the will of God concerning them, or who have ignorantly sinned. But wo, wo unto him who knoweth that he rebelleth against God! For salvation cometh to none such except it be through repentance and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ."~Mosiah 3:10-12

Each of us needs to determine which of these situations is true for us.  If we're older and no longer little children, we might want to take Jesus' counsel when he said,

"And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye." ~Luke 6:41-42

Tim Tebow echoed this concept when he said, "Don't worry about what you can't control. Our focus and energy need to be on the things we CAN control. Attitude, effort, focus - these are the things we can control..." 

When there is some kind of conflict needing to be resolved the most important thing we can do is to focus on what we have control over. Our part in the puzzle. Our position on the field. Our turn in the game.  When we work to cast the beam out of our own eyes, we take responsibility for what is within our control. When we take responsibility for what is within our control we work on eliminating all of the distractions in our lives, all of the Pseudo Desires and their numbing Effects. We examine ourselves frankly to see if we have them and then acknowledge them when we do. We work diligently to eliminate them, even though it hurts. When we do that we can more accurately assess the situation in which we find ourselves and use our agency more wisely. 

"If our righteous desires are sufficiently intense, they will motivate us to cut and carve ourselves free from addictions and other sinful pressures and priorities that prevent our eternal progress." ~"Desire" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks

Destiny

In the last blog post we talked about having No Desire or having Conflicting Desires.  But somewhere in between those two is our real Desire.  I call that our Inherent Desire.  The best way to describe an Inherent Desire is that it’s apart of our overall Destiny.  It’s a Desire that, when obtained, will end us coming one step closer to self-actualization, Sustainable Joy, eternal life, salvation, exaltation, and all of those words we use to describe the happily ever after we all want to get to.

"Readjusting our desires to give highest priority to the things of eternity is not easy. We are all tempted to desire that worldly quartet of property, prominence, pride, and power. We might desire these, but we should not fix them as our highest priorities....To achieve our eternal destiny, we will desire and work for the qualities required to become an eternal being." ~"Desire" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks

We know when we have identified an Inherent Desire when our motivation to obtain it is continuous and very deep.  Under the umbrella of Destiny is usually a number of these smaller Inherent Desires.  They are the puzzle pieces that make up the entire picture of what our heaven looks like.

Listen:  “Heaven” by Salvador

When we have identified an Inherent Desire, the motivation we experience is enough to sustain us even through the tough sacrifices we must make as part of the Desire Obtainment Process.  That means that the privileges we receive as we incrementally obtain this Desire and the ones we envision having when the Desire is fully obtained are enough to motivate us to make our own continuous sacrifice.  It’s enough to buffer us against the adversity we have to work through.  Our continuous sacrifice in turn provides privileges for others that motivate their sacrifice and buffer them against the adversity they have to work through.  That’s what makes the entire relationship sustainable or in other words, eternal.

Part of the sacrifice that is always required of us is our willingness to listen to our Cause.  Our Cause is a guide, a mentor.  He (or she) is someone who has already obtained a Desire similar to our own.  He knows the pathway.  We are unsure of it.  The only way we can obtain our Desire is if we yield to his instructions, even when they go against what we presently understand. 

This reminds me of the Karate Kid movie.  Daniel wants to learn Karate for protection.  He asks Mr. Miyagi to teach him because he witnesses Mr. Miyagi “single-handedly fend[ing] off [Daniel’s] five attackers with ease” (Wikipedia).  Mr. Miyagi starts with having Daniel painting fences and waxing his cars.  Daniel has no idea why he has to do this kind of sacrifice.  He even suspects that Mr. Miyagi is taking advantage of him—getting a bunch of free labor out of him.  But he decides to trust him without knowing all the answers up front.  He learns that Mr. Miyagi is training his muscles to develop the memory to perform specific actions that will eventually become like reflexes.  And if you’ve seen the movie, you know the end of the story.  Daniel becomes a master Karate Kid through Mr. Miyagi’s training.  He is able to protect himself and those he loves against Survival of the Fittest bullies.  Desire Obtained.

So choosing a Cause we can trust to whom we will remain allegiant even when it opposes our natural inclinations and previous suppositions is a crucial sacrifice in the Inherent Desire Obtainment Process.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." ~Proverbs 3:5-6 

"...choose you this day whom ye will serve; ...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." ~Joshua 24:15

Our chosen Cause is the one who instructs us concerning the Process we need to engage in to obtain our Desire.  This Process is a sacrifice.  It’s not easy.  It takes work.  It’s about changing some things and holding steadfast in others.  The Process is inherent to the Desire we have chosen.  That means if we want the Desire bad enough then we are fine with subjecting ourselves to the laws and rules pertaining to that Desire.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him." ~James 1:5

"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." ~D&C 130:20-21

Effects help us identify the Inherent Process.  Effects are the feedback, validation, or response process from our Cause in regards to our Desire Obtainment Process that enable us to know if we’re on or off the right track.  They also enable us to discern our Inherent Desire.

"But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong;" ~D&C 9:7-9

Results are Sustainable Desires, Processes, and Effects.  When our Desire is sustainable, we know it is inherent.  Sustainable Processes are knowledge, skills, abilities, and talents.  Sustainable Effects are Sustainable Joy, which is balanced Peace and Energy that just keeps on going.  These are the elements that compose Sustainable Relationships.  When we have developed Sustainable Processes and Effects, the sacrifice of each person in the relationship becomes a Joy.  Desire obtained.  Success.

"But if ye will nourish the word, yea, nourish the tree as it beginneth to grow, by your faith with great diligence, and with patience, looking forward to the fruit thereof, it shall take root; and behold it shall be a tree springing up unto everlasting life. And because of your diligence and your faith and your patience with the word in nourishing it, that it may take root in you, behold, by and by ye shall pluck the fruit thereof, which is most precious, which is sweet above all that is sweet, and which is white above all that is white, yea, and pure above all that is pure; and ye shall feast upon this fruit even until ye are filled, that ye hunger not, neither shall ye thirst. Then, my brethren, ye shall reap the rewards of your faith, and your diligence, and patience, and long-suffering, waiting for the tree to bring forth fruit unto you." ~Alma 32:41-43

“Therefore, what we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will receive in eternity.” ~Elder Neal A. Maxwell quoted in "Desire" by Elder Dallin H. Oaks

This is why it’s so important to use our agency to answer the following questions for ourselves:

What is your Desire?
Who is your Cause?
What is the Process to obtain this Desire?
What are the Effects you experience when you engage in this Process?
What are your Results?

"Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself..." ~2 Nephi 2:16

"I have been thinking recently about choices and their consequences. It has been said that the gate of history turns on small hinges, and so do people’s lives. The choices we make determine our destiny." ~"Choices" by President Thomas S. Monson

Listen: "This is Your Life" by Switchfoot

IDK Inertia

Sometimes we find ourselves drifting in inertia without meaningful goals, desires, or purpose.  If asked about what we want to do with our time, our energy, our life, we answer idk.

A possible cause for this kind of state is that we just don’t know ourselves well enough yet to know what we want out of all that is available.  We don’t know what we’d be willing to fight for, to sacrifice for, or even to give our life for.  We need more time to experience different sorts of people, values, and occupations in order to determine which ones we like the best. 

When we were children, we most likely didn’t know what type of person we would marry, what college we’d go to, what values we’d profess our allegiance to, and what occupation we’d like to spend our lives training for and serving in.  We may have formed some thoughts about what we wanted to be when we grew up but those desires were probably not as powerful as they eventually became.

As children, there were other more immediate choices that most likely consumed our thoughts like choosing our friends, the way we were going to spend the day, if we were going to do our homework and chores or not, which skills we chose to develop, if we would eat the food our parents prepared for us or not, and what and who we were going to listen to, watch, or read. 

It’s through our interactions with others and with the physical world around us that we begin to identify our core desires.  That is, it is through our experiences that we develop our meaningful goals, desires, and purpose.  So if we have very little desire concerning a certain area of our life, it may be that we need more time and experience in it.  We don’t have to rush ourselves to make choices we’re not ready to make.  Having patience with ourselves and others as we all grow up is key to identifying real, true, core, meaningful desires that are so deep in our heart that we would give our life to obtain them.

I guess I would have to add here that adversity is another big part of our experience.  I think it’s one of the most common influences over our desires.  We often go into a certain field of study in hopes of reducing adversity for our family, community, and world.

As desires become more intense, we are motivated to make the sacrifices required of us in order to pursue our choices.  Desires have a way of growing more intense over time until we finally are forced by one thing or another to make a firm decision.  I think that’s what growing up is all about.  Because of adversity and death we can’t float around forever in inertia.

The other top influence over our desires is admiration.  When we take the time to admire the qualities and characteristics in the people around us, instead of feeling envious towards them, we find out who and what we want to become.

I believe that the more we are able to get to know our Savior Jesus Christ through the Holy Ghost, the more we understand ourselves and what we want to become.  In fact when we notice who and what we admire, it is usually because we feel an increase in the intensity of the Spirit when we interact with that person.  That feeling testifies of Christ and at the same time is testifying of us.  We saw the value in them and what they did.  Others may not have, but we did.  That describes who we are.

Often times the reason we don’t have a meaningful enough desire is that there are so many to choose from and we are conflicted between them.  All of the choices look good to us.  We’re not ready to make a choice because choosing one requires us to sacrifice all the others.  We’re talking about conflicting desires here.  That means we can’t obtain more than one of them because we don’t have the time or energy to obtain them both.  These are desires like educational pathway, choice of occupation, marriage partner, or place of residence.  We may be able to do them subsequently but not at the same time.

Being able to tell when multiple desires are compatible and when they are conflicting comes with study and experience.  If we find ourselves not being able to choose between two or more desires that we have been trying to obtain for quite some time and feeling like our progression towards results is not fast enough, we most likely need to make a choice between them.  We need to sacrifice all the rest for one choice.