I've been thinking a lot about how hard it is to maintain the voluntary nature of a sacrifice when the pain and suffering are mounting. To keep our hearts and our motives pure instead of flipping to selfishness and envy is so intensely difficult when the sacrifice we're making is bleeding the life out of us.
Sacrifice & Adversity
Just to be clear about what I mean when I use the word sacrifice: It is the expenditure of energy. When we physically work, we’re sacrificing the available energy in our body in order to accomplish a task. When we have to endure adversity of any kind, we also expend spiritual energy. We give up our peace. Sometimes we bring these sacrifices upon ourselves. Sometimes they are forced upon us. Bad things happen to us. They happen to really bad people and really good people and everyone in between. It’s how we respond to that adversity that makes us who we are. Do we submit to the burden that’s placed upon our shoulders and willingly expend that energy to resolve it the best we can because that was our voluntary agreement when we chose to come to this earth? Or do we fight against it and begrudge it because we don’t have any recollection that we agreed to endure adversity in order to receive all the other blessings this life would bring us?
"For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God." ~Moroni 7:8
The Atonement of Jesus Christ
Voluntary Sacrifice is what Jesus Christ did. It is what he exemplified when he was faced with adversity. He wasn't hanging there on the cross hating everyone and feeling sorry for himself and thinking his lot in life was not fair. He wasn't contemplating revenge or escape. He was taking it willingly, assigning the cause to his Father, knowing the Father could release him at any time. Indeed, our Savior could have released himself at any time as was seen when he was the one who decided when it was finished and “gave up the ghost.” Inside, he was allowing all of this pain and suffering to happen to him without changing his love to hatred and bitterness. He remained steadfast in Voluntary Sacrifice.
"No man taketh it from me, but I lay it down of myself. I have power to lay it down, and I have power to take it again. This commandment have I received of my Father." ~John 10:18
"After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a sponge with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth. When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost." ~John 19:28-30
In order to keep the sacrifice voluntary, we can only sacrifice within our Threshold or our Zone to do it. Beyond that, the voluntary ability of our heart ends. It involuntarily turns to fighting the sacrifice or making it a grudge sacrifice. And the only valuable sacrifice is one that is done under voluntary conditions. If it is not voluntary it does not create sustainable results on the side of the sufferer or on the side of those for whom the sacrifice is being done. Jesus Christ had the capacity to Voluntarily Sacrifice within his Threshold for all the rest of us, both physically and spiritually. I’m sure it took him to his very limits, but he did it. He accomplished the Atonement!
"These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33
All that is required of us is to sacrifice within our Threshold. Anything more or less than this does no good. Understanding these rules behind sacrifice enables me to understand better what Christ did for us. It astounds me but it's not beyond my comprehension. It's something I can comprehend because I have suffered to the extremes of my own Threshold. I know the voluntary/forced fight that goes on inside me. Sometimes I can’t keep it voluntary no matter what I do and my adversity is no where near what His was! This is why we can empathize with Christ and he with us.
"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." ~Alma 7:12
It’s Like Fitness
I may not have the cardiorespiratory fitness that a marathon runner has. But I may feel the same discomfort and pain running a 5K, as a marathon runner would feel running a marathon. That’s because a 5K may be my present capacity. That’s what my body is trained to handle. It may be that I have certain genetic weaknesses or certain injuries that make it so a 5K is just like a marathon for me. The level of exertion I experience creates the intensity of the sacrifice. I am aware of the battle that goes on between body and spirit when I get to the edge of my Threshold. I can feel the battle of my motivation—voluntary vs. forced. I feel what Christ did when he was at the edge of his. I also feel what others feel when they are at the edge of theirs. So I can empathize with them even if I haven’t gone through exactly what they are going through. It’s physics. Because I am weaker, I experience greater pain with less adversity. Because Christ is stronger, he would experience less pain with my same level of adversity, but similar pain with the level of adversity that would push him to his Threshold edge.
Training to Increase Our Threshold
There is a balance in my cardiorespiratory and muscular Thresholds that need to be maintained and challenged but not overcome throughout the training process. If I take the time to be trained I can actually grow in my capacity. Maybe right now I can’t even run a 5K. But if I work up to it gradually and consistently, I will be able to do it. I will be able to handle more adversity without crossing out of my Threshold. My sacrifice will remain voluntary with greater intensities instead of turning into a grudge sacrifice.
I’ve had my Fitbit on for 20 days now. It tracks a lot of things including my resting heart rate (RHR). I’ve noticed this rate has incrementally dropped during the last 20 days as I exercise more consistently and intensely than what I was doing before. I also notice my exertion during exercise is decreasing correspondingly with my RHR so I can do more, move faster in less time and thus burn the same amount of calories as before in less time without running faster than I have strength. In the fitness world, this is called perceived exertion. It’s a great metaphor for how each of us have our own Threshold of sacrifice. Two people can be walking at the same exact pace but one of them might be working much harder, according to their perceived exertion, than the other. The factors that affect that difference in perception can be both physical and spiritual. So the goal is to work within our personal Threshold of perceived exertion. When we do that, we become stronger, faster, and able to bear a heavier sacrifice over time.
Sacrifice: Objective Value
What makes the marathon runner’s sacrifice greater than mine is the time he took to train verses the time I took to train, given we are both healthy individuals with the capacity to develop our cardiorespiratory systems and musculature to that level, without any genetic obstacles. If we both have the capacity to become marathon runners, and I have trained myself to be able to run a 5K, while he has trained himself to be able to run a marathon, it objectively would take a longer time to develop his body than it would mine. He would have been required to remain steadfast in his goal for a longer period of time than I would have. No giving up. So steadfastness in obeying his Trainer would have been one of his main qualities.
Jehovah --
"The covenant or proper name of the God of Israel. It denotes the 'Unchangeable One,' 'the eternal I AM'" ~Bible Dictionary
"I gave my back to the smiters, and my cheeks to them that plucked off the hair: I hid not my face from shame and spitting. For the Lord God will help me; therefore shall I not be confounded: therefore have I set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be ashamed." ~Isaiah 50:6-7
Spiritual Fitness
Just as there are physical 5Ks and marathons, there are spiritual 5Ks and marathons. A large portion of our society loves to get us to use Pride/Envy evaluations of our physical and spiritual fitness. They advocate comparing our fitness to another to assess personal value in Pride or Envy, not so we can use it to bless the lives of others. But that gets us no where. In Christ’s world of Confidence/Humility, there are no Pride/Envy class distinctions. If we want to develop our spiritual fitness level, we can. It all is dependent upon our DESIRE TO LOVE. Some people want to develop the capacity to run a spiritual 5K. They love at that level and are satisfied there. Others want to run spiritual marathons. That’s where they find their greatest balance. Those who want to run marathons have no business judging those who just want to run 5Ks. In fact, it is the 5K-ers who make up their spiritual marathon. They are what make their spiritual sacrifice more difficult. Spiritual marathon runners use their strength to love spiritual 5Kers or spiritual 1Kers in Confidence and Empathy and NOT Pride. Those who run 5Ks have no business judging those who want to run marathons. It is the marathoners who make it possible for them to run the distance/time of their choice. They use their Humility and Gratitude and NOT Envy to receive the help they need to accomplish their goals and resolve their conflicts from marathon runners.
It’s so symbiotic because we both need each other. Neither of us would be able to experience Joy at the intensity level we desire if it weren’t for the other. Peace isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Too much of it leaves us in boredom, stagnancy, and depression. Ask anyone who has recently retired. Sacrificing our peace for others completes that peace and enables us to feel that amazing flow of energy that is Joy.
Too Much/Too Little
We not only have a Threshold for how hard we can work before it is too much, but we also have a Threshold for how easy we can work before it is too little. We all have to do something in order to obtain what we want and separate ourselves from the things we don't want. We can’t choose to run/walk at a rate that is beneath our capacity. We need to sacrifice to a certain degree in order to stay alive on this earth. Atrophy is real and it sets in when we under-do it just as much as Injury sets in when we overdo it. Likewise, we need to sacrifice above a certain Threshold in order to obtain and maintain Joy.
It was Jesus Christ’s choice and mission to train and run the farthest distance in his allotted amount of time for his personal sacrifice so that each of us could voluntarily sacrifice at the level we personally are able AND also develop our Threshold capacity according to our Desires. He made it so the sacrifice could remain VOLUNTARY, instead of forced. That is the power of Attraction! Through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, he enables us to retain our agency, love, and Joy through whatever adversity we are required to bear.
"And for this cause have I been lifted up; therefore, according to the power of the Father I will draw all men unto me, that they may be judged according to their works." ~3 Nephi 27:15
"And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me." ~John 12:32
Life is a highway but I don’t want to ride it all night long. Here’s why:
When I went on that road trip mentioned in the previous blog post, I dropped my son off at college and then headed south to visit my mom and stepdad. I was on the highway for a long time. I was envisioning my destination. I was sure my mom would have dinner ready, a nice cozy room for me to stay in, and it would be good to be out of the car. I was motivated to get there as efficiently as possible. That was my goal. I like to drive fast but I also strive to yield to the speed limit laws so when the sign says I can go 80, I want to go 80.
Listen: "Life Is A Highway" by Rascal Flatts
Driving Obstacles
The first obstacle between me and my final destination was the distance. I had to endure through the sacrifice of time, vigilance, and pressing on that gas peddle to be able to achieve my goal. Really not too bad of a sacrifice considering the efforts my predecessors made crossing the same distance. The second obstacle was to stay within the law—obey the speed limit as well as the other rules of the road, one of my favorite being: Stay to the right except to pass. The third obstacle was the other drivers on the road, all of whom had their own destinations and there own way of getting there. Some drove faster than me and thus over the speed limit and some drove slower than me and under the speed limit. Some of the slower drivers liked to stay in the fast lane even though they weren’t passing anyone. Some slower drivers liked to get in front of me just as I was about to pass a semi. And that kind of stuff happened over and over again. It wasn’t just a one time experience. And of course it happens repeatedly every time I take a road trip. I’m sure it’s the same for everyone else.
These other drivers and their different ways of driving present multiple conflicts for me as I’m focused on my goal: getting to my final destination in the most efficient way possible. This is because I have another goal that is more important to me. It’s to maintain Charity. It’s to love others and do good to them, regardless of how they treat me. My commitment is to Paradoxical Living (see blog posts Paradoxical Parenting and World Peace). So I wondered how I could maintain that commitment. And what were my motives for trying to keep this commitment on the highway when nobody I knew was around?
...Except God. He’s around and is the one I’m mostly concerned about so I somehow had to figure out how to deal appropriately with each little internal irritating conflict I was having. My goal above all sub-goals is to make my temple—my body and spirit—a sacred place where God himself would desire to dwell. Nourishing irritating feelings and persistent unkind thoughts spawns bad habits and creates an environment in me that he may not be so comfortable in. And without him there, life is not the same. So you see where my motivation to learn how to deal fairly and charitably with all these unknown drivers on the road (who I will probably never see again in my life) is coming from.
Every time I was caught behind a slow driver or was being tailed by someone going faster than the speed limit, I had a choice to make. I could allow the jerk in me to come out. That’s certainly the response that comes natural and easy to me in the moment. I could have manipulated whatever variables within my control to get in front of others. I could have tailed other people as close as I dared to communicate to them in a rude (and dangerous) way that I wanted them to get out of my way or that I didn’t like how they had done the same to me a minute ago. I could have a me-first mentality all the way from Colorado to Provo and then from Provo to St. George. I could have spread selfishness all the way across two states. I say spread because we all know what we are tempted to do when someone treats us with selfishness. It’s like a virus.
If I choose the above action plan, I use this reasoning: I have somewhere to go. I have to get there. I don’t like to be in the car longer than I have to be. These people are in my way. They don’t know how to drive. I do. But the issue is, I’m a little too smart to get away with this reasoning. Or the Spirit that hangs out with me is. Never fails, if I am reasoning that I have somewhere to go, I immediately see that SO DO THE OTHER DRIVERS! So amazing, isn’t it? Everyone is on a journey to obtain their own goals. And somehow, someway we’ve got to put up with each other as we cross each other’s paths or travel along the same roads for a while.
Life is a Highway is a fun song but I think a song that better describes my Life-Highway experience is Geronimo by Sheppard.
Read on to see what I mean.
What is Charity?
The other response I could have to the “other people on the road” is to maintain Charity towards them. This is about not tailing them when they are in front of me and going slower than the speed limit. It is about giving them plenty of space and waiting for them to move over when they get the chance. Usually they can’t move over anyway because a semi is in the way or it’s a two-lane highway. So what good is tailing them? And if they choose to get in front of me before I pass the semi, then let them. Slow down and remember they are on their journey too. Here is an opportunity to give them a hand. I’ll voluntarily break and allow them to go in front of me when their blinker comes on. I can do that. It’s just a small thing. Yeah, it is uncomfortable, but every effort makes me into a different person—someone who has the capacity to bear the weight of others’ goals AND/OR problems, ignorances, mistakes, selfishness, imbalances WITHOUT crumbling into selfishness myself. To be able to do this, I have to remember that this is my main goal, not the other. It means more to me than getting to my nice warm and cozy dinner, family, and bed. I don’t want to arrive at my destination having littered the road with unkind deeds and having a virulent irritation for all humanity sprouting up in my heart. What kind of reward would I be to my family when I finally got there if that was the way I got there? What kind of environment in my temple would I be making for God if I did that all the time?
“But [Jesus] answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” ~Matthew 4:4
Make this leap!
My real goal is about dealing with every conflict that comes my way with success. I stay in the Safe Place, meaning I don’t lose the Spirit. I assist other people to do that as well. If I’m rude to them, even if I think they’ve been rude to me first, I become a pawn of the adversary’s to tempt them out of the Safe Place. A lot of times we think people are being rude to us on purpose but they are sometimes just doing whatever they’re doing out of ignorance or innocence. And sometimes we get angry at ignorance. We call it negligence. That only spawns hatred of humanity, which ends with us becoming one of the humans we hate.
"Wherefore, he has given a law; and where there is no law given there is no punishment; and where there is no punishment there is no condemnation; and where there is no condemnation the mercies of the Holy One of Israel have claim upon them, because of the atonement; for they are delivered by the power of him." ~2 Nephi 9:25
Bombs away! Can you feel my love?
When I maintain Charity towards others who drive evidently selfish, it’s not that I have warm fuzzy loving feelings for them throughout the whole experience. I don’t. It hurts. It annoys. It is a workout for my heart to not respond in kind. I accept this workout. I know why I’m feeling this pain. I’m sacrificing for my fellow men in general. I know God understands it when I’m working through the irritation. In fact he's been there and probably quite a bit. He just doesn’t want me to give way to it, agree with it, nourish it, and act upon it.
Make this leap!
Some people choose to reduce the intensity of this workout by making up excuses in their minds about why the other driver was so selfish. Maybe they are on the way to the hospital or some other emergency. Maybe they just didn’t know. Yeah, that helps to some degree and sometimes it’s true. But my intelligence does not allow me to trick myself into believing it is the case in every situation or even most situations. I know there are in existence many drivers who drive selfishly because they are selfish and they don’t give a crap about anyone else. I just can’t make myself believe that everyone of them has some kind of medical emergency or they have no idea what they are doing. So when I maintain Charity towards drivers like these the love I have for them comes from my actions. I will allow them to get in front of me. I will wait for them. I will be patient with them. I will not respond in kind. I won’t flip them off or ride on their tail or make ugly faces or shake my fist at them. I will remain patient. Under no circumstance will they see a trace of the struggle I’m having inside because of what they did. I will maintain my countenance so they have no idea what’s happening inside of me. Let's just be clear here: This is what I'm striving to achieve. Not what I have yet achieved.
"Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly." ~Matthew 6:16-18
Make this leap!
That’s how I love them. I’m not thinking, “Oh you poor soul, God loves you! Go in front of me. You are a wonderful human being.” No. I’m thinking, “I get it. I’ve been there too. Running late or just prefer to drive fast and thinking only of your own destination. Not there yet in being able to figure out that all of us around you want to get to our destination as efficiently as possible too. I’ll deal with this. I will not fan the flame of my irritation. I’ll just wait for it to pass through me. I hope you learn sometime soon that selfishness is not the best strategy to obtain what you want.”
Can you feel my love? Make this leap!
If I am forced to endure the lawless driving of another vehicle on the highway for extended periods of time after I have been patient, I objectively look for a way to get around them or away from them. I don’t do it to communicate how angry I am with them. I do it matter-of-factly. I am saying, “Go ahead and proceed the way you are if that is your way of driving, but I’m just going to go along my way too. Pass on the right. Bye!” Of course if they are way lawless and dangerous, I should report it to the highway patrol so this person doesn’t end up crashing into someone else. In other relationship scenarios, I could most likely open the communication channels up more fully before having to call in “the authorities.” Thankfully, since I’m keeping myself in the Safe Place instead of losing it, I can listen to the Holy Ghost to make that kind of discernment-decision.
But we all know that we get into scenarios where we can do nothing to pass the person and are stuck behind them seemingly forever. In this case we have a greater degree of adversity to bear. Just objectively knowing this is a very difficult trial to endure gives me greater ability to deal with it. Fighting the natural man response process will only make me stronger. I turn to the Lord in faith. I plead for his help—to help me endure to the end of this trial and to help me get out of it soon. Then I just endure as long as is required because I trust he won’t allow things to try me past what is good for me.
“So say Geronimo!”
Obviously these kinds of conflicts do indeed happen on the highway. But the metaphor is that life is a highway and the interactions we have with other drivers are symbolic of the interactions we have with everyone in our lives: our spouse, kids, relatives, friends, neighbors, community members, coworkers, etc. And while we all have a final destination to get to—our happiness and comfort with family and friends—bee-lining to it at the expense of others is not the best way to get there. Why? Because we’re being watched. God is watching us and all his holy angels. They are keeping a careful record. Our final-final destination is with all of them as well as our present family and friends. And the type of person we have become along life’s highways is the type of person we are at our final destination. Who do we want to live with there and who will want to live with us?
I know my heaven is with people who have developed their Charity to a similar level that I have by doing what I’m struggling to do on life’s highway. And heaven is “through the curtains of the waterfall!” The kind of spirits that attend us now are the kind of people we will dwell with eternally. Even if no one on the highway sees or cares too much about how much I “make this leap!” for them, I know God sees it. I can feel his increased desire to dwell with me when he sees it. My family and friends feel the difference in their interactions with me. Perhaps if I can master this Highway Charity with the Savior’s help, I will eventually sing, “Life is a highway and I [do] want to ride it all night long.” If he’s going my way (or I’m going his), then yeah, I do “want to drive it all night long.” But for now...
“We can make this leap!…Through the curtains of the waterfall…So say Geronimo!…Bombs away…Can you feel my love?”
This summer I went on a road trip to take my youngest son Matthew to college. I felt so excited for him and this new adventure in his life. As each child leaves home my life changes too. A new adventure begins for me and for everyone else who is still home. It's strange but fascinating.
I don't dread my kids growing up and leaving home like some mothers do. I admire that kind of mother because she is conveying through those thoughts and feelings all the love she has for her children. I do have the sad moments after they leave when I'm walking through the halls of our home and feeling the empty room symbolizing that a stage in life has passed and will never return. I stay there for a time remembering and thinking about the past and the fact that it's over. Tears come.
But I can't dwell on the sorrow of separation. There's no hope in that place. I choose to look to God and his plan for me and for my child to help me resolve the conflict this separation presents. I know separation from loved ones is part of his plan so I begin a study journey to learn how God would have me think of it. How would he have me spin this story?
So this is what I did: I prayed about the issue, studied my scriptures and other good books, and made comparative observations of my own life experiences. I learned to see the actual story like this: just because my son is moving out of my home doesn't mean he's moving out of my heart or my life. We're both embarking on a new facet of our relationship. A new opportunity to improve it, to deepen it.
When my first two sons left home to go to college or serve missions we began communicating via phone calls, texts, emails, and letters. They had to live with different people and work out the inevitable relationship conflicts. No longer were these conflicts directly with me. I moved back into the position of one of their valued confidants and counselors (because somewhere in their teenage years previous to this they moved me out of it). They were free to make a greater degree of their own choices. I listened to their stories when they called and how they were handling the challenges that came their way.
I watched and listened. I was interested to see if they would follow what their father and I had taught them or if they would find a different way to accomplish their goals and resolve their conflicts. It has been fascinating to see what they choose. It enables me to observe which of all the things we have taught them have been most valuable to them.
In my nostalgia, I've been looking over the pictures of Matthew from baby to young adult and listening to music like this: "Were You There?" by Paul Cardall
Transitions or changes like kids leaving home for the first time are few and far between for a mom. Once you begin with a pregnancy, you're on that journey for a very long time. Eighteen years at least. There are smaller milestones that are passed along the way, but the final goal in this journey is not achieved until they move out. My hope is that by that time they are able to take on the responsibility to care for themselves. Eventually, they will learn to also care for a spouse and a family. My goal has been to train them to be individuals who can develop compatible and sustainable relationships. Their eternal happiness is more important to me than their continual presence in my home. What benefit is it to either of us if we reside in physical proximity to each other if the opportunity cost is sustainable joy? I view their need to leave home as the required journey to obtain that.
Whatever our personal Destiny, we can compare it to being an eagle that was born to soar through the skies. But what would happen to an eagle and its Destiny if it was raised as a chicken? Watch the following video to see.
We may end up in the chicken yard because of our own choices or because of the choices of others. Usually, it's a combination of both. Our caretaker may be like the kind old man in the video who only had good intentions or it may be someone more like Mother Gothel in the Disney movie Tangled.
When we develop numbed AND scattered Effect Sensors it's like being trapped in a chicken yard without any way to escape. And we may not even have a desire to escape because we have no recollection or idea that our life could be any better. When we have continuously chosen to ignore the guidance of Causes who want to assist us in becoming the eagle we were meant to be we also numb ourselves to their sustaining comfort. They are always there and always trying to help us get out of the chicken yard but we want to do things our own way, the way we have always done them. These choices cut us off from being able to sense Real Effects.
"Our responsibility is to ‘receive’ that which our Father offers. ‘For unto him that receiveth it shall be given more abundantly, even power’: power to receive all that He can and will give us—now and eternally; power to become sons and daughters of God, to know ‘the powers of heaven,’ to speak in His name, and to receive ‘the power of [His] Spirit.’" ~Elder Kent F. Richards
We scatter our Effect Sensors when we continuously go to multiple conflicting Causes for comfort and guidance without choosing one to remain allegiant to. Even as we refuse to listen to our eagle trainers, our ears are wide open to listen to all the other chickens in the coop.
"That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;" ~Ephesians 4:14
"For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables." ~2 Timothy 4:3-4
When we numb our Effect Sensors, we are left in a vulnerable state. We may have made it so we don't have to feel the trials and adversity of an eagle but more intense adversity is always on its way. With numbed Effect Sensors we're blind to it until it hits us. Pseudo forms of comfort and guidance have limited protection. When Adversity surmounts them we'll be left defenseless. That's when the fear sets in and we start scrambling for other Causes and their Effects like chickens fighting for food or pecking order. When confronted with this kind of challenge and we still don't return to God, we will be forced to rely on Causes that conflict with him, who have selfish pecking-order reasons for offering their support. Relying on selfish Causes for extended periods of time scatters our Effect Sensors and creates pecking-order chickens out of us.
When our Effect Sensors are both numbed and scattered we feel like we're trapped in the chicken yard and have no recollection of the sky and the mountains where eagles soar. We forget that we were born to fly. There's no way to break out...unless we repent.
"Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I
smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and
your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know
not, yea, how hard to bear you know not. For behold, I, God, have
suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would
repent; But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;" D&C 19:15-17
"The captive exile hasteneth, that he may be loosed, and that he should not die in the pit, nor that his bread should fail." ~2 Nephi 8:14
"Shall the prey be taken from the mighty, or the lawful captive delivered?" ~Isaiah 49:24
"As I
pondered the history of Dresden [a city in Germany completely ruined by bombing in World War II] and marveled at the ingenuity and
resolve of those who restored what had been so completely destroyed, I
felt the sweet influence of the Holy Spirit. Surely, I thought, if man
can take the ruins, rubble, and remains of a broken city and rebuild an
awe-inspiring structure that rises toward the heavens, how much more
capable is our Almighty Father to restore His children who have fallen,
struggled, or become lost?" ~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Repentance
Now I know that the word repent has a negative connotation in the chicken yard because it is assumed that if someone tells us we need to do it, they are accusing us of sinning. This was the case in a story from the Book of Mormon when a missionary named Aaron was trying to teach a group of dissenters about Jesus Christ and his Atonement. The following scripture verse is the dissenter's response to Aaron's invitation to repentance (his invitation to become the eagle he was meant to be). So even as he sits in the chicken yard trying to maintain his pecking order, he says:
"Thou also sayest, except we repent we shall perish. How knowest thou the thought and intent of our hearts? How knowest thou that we have cause to repent? How knowest thou that we are not a righteous people? Behold, we have built sanctuaries, and we do assemble ourselves together to worship God. We do believe that God will save all men." ~Alma 21:6
The issue is all of us who know better have the need to repent continuously. It's part of learning how to fly. We're always drifting to one side or the other of the balance of purity. That's a fact. Repentance is good news! It's how we can break out of the chicken yard. It's the means by which we get out of the pecking order game the world and its Conflicting Causes are playing.
"And thus mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption." ~Alma 34:16
"May we
choose to build up within ourselves a great and powerful faith which
will be our most effective defense against the designs of the
adversary—a real faith, the kind of faith which will sustain us and will
bolster our desire to choose the right. Without such faith, we go
nowhere. With it, we can accomplish our goals." ~President Thomas S. Monson
Sin
The word sin also carries a negative connotation in the chicken yard. If we can think of sin as the mistakes of a repentant person, we can get around all the Toxic Shame and Blame of the pecking chicken society. If we recognize what we have been doing wrong--what hasn't been working for us, and seek to rectify the situation, the sin becomes a past mistake. If we deliberately continue doing what's wrong and seek to justify ourselves in it, it remains a sin.
We're all just trying to learn how to fly. We're not going to be doing it perfectly right now. That means there are some things that, even as we speak, we can improve upon. Imagine that! Fearing to admit we're wrong (when we are), or admitting that we still have some things to learn, because we think it reflects on our worth is a dead end street.
Viewing the situation objectively is the key. Dynamically being willing to be corrected where needed and holding steadfast where needed is the secret to the eagle's flight. And it's about having the desire to continuously improve our technique while we still have a chance, instead of sitting back at the top of the pecking order in the chicken yard and thinking we've already gained all the knowledge and abilities possible to gain. Maybe we have come a long way from the egg-hood, but that doesn't mean we've come all the way.
"However
far we may wander from the path, the Savior invites us to return and
walk with Him. This invitation to walk with Jesus Christ is an
invitation to accompany Him to Gethsemane and from Gethsemane to Calvary
and from Calvary to the Garden Tomb. It is an invitation to observe and
apply His great atoning sacrifice, whose reach is as individual as it
is infinite. It is an invitation to repent, to draw upon His cleansing
power, and to grasp His loving, outstretched arms. It is an invitation
to be at peace." ~He Will Place You on His Shoulders and Carry You Home by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf
Adversity
Often times the reason we're spending our time pecking around the chicken yard and getting into chicken fights is because of the Adversity we have experienced. Adversity can come from someone else pecking us to smithereens or it can come from random adverse circumstances. While Adversity comes and indeed has the potential to cause us to respond like angry defensive chickens, there is a space between stimulus and response for eagles. We don't have to peck back. That does not mean that whoever or whatever is causing the Adversity is justified. They may or may not be. It just means that because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, we have the choice to soar regardless of what is done to us.
"When trust is betrayed, dreams shattered, hearts broken and broken again, when we want justice and need mercy, when our fists clench and our tears flow, when we need to know what to hold onto and what to let go of, we can always remember Him. Life is not as cruel as it can sometimes seem. His infinite compassion can help us find our way, truth, and life." ~Elder Gerrit W. Gong
"God rarely infringes on the agency of any of His children by intervening against some for the relief of others. But He does ease the burdens of our afflictions and strengthen us to bear them, as He did for Alma’s people in the land of Helam (see Mosiah 24:13–15)...Through all mortal opposition, we have God’s assurance that He will “consecrate [our] afflictions for [our] gain” (2 Nephi 2:2)." ~Elder Dallin H. Oaks
We can become the eagle we were meant to be. We can achieve our Destiny if we remain allegiant to our eagle trainer instead of defecting to Conflicting Chicken-Yard Pecking-Order Causes when the going gets tough. It is up to us to keep our Effect Sensors sensitive to that trainer. If we've developed numbed or scattered Effect Sensors, we have the option to repent because of our Savior Jesus Christ. We have the option.
"And now remember, remember, my brethren, that whosoever perisheth, perisheth unto himself; and whosoever doeth iniquity, doeth it unto himself; for behold, ye are free; ye are permitted to act for yourselves; for behold, God hath given unto you a knowledge and he hath made you free. He hath given unto you that ye might know good from evil, and he hath given unto you that ye might choose life or death; and ye can do good and be restored unto that which is good, or have that which is good restored unto you; or ye can do evil, and have that which is evil restored unto you." ~Helaman 14:30-31
There is a balance in my cardiorespiratory and muscular Thresholds that need to be maintained and challenged but not overcome throughout the training process. If I take the time to be trained I can actually grow in my capacity. Maybe right now I can’t even run a 5K. But if I work up to it gradually and consistently, I will be able to do it. I will be able to handle more adversity without crossing out of my Threshold. My sacrifice will remain voluntary with greater intensities instead of turning into a grudge sacrifice.
